Historia de los Insípidos

Veo que no está realmente disponible en Internet una excelente sátira de John Wilmot, conde de Rochester, titulada La Historia de los Insípidos. Es una andanada contra Carlos II, y puede ser buen momento para recordarla ahora que llega al trono británico su pariente y tocayo Carlos III. Las realezas y los desgobiernos que con frecuencia amparan éstas tienen muchas cosas en común, y aunque no se parezcan entre sí los eventos concretos, muchas veces se parecen las situaciones y las actitudes, de tal modo que este poema puede leerse como una sátira en clave de las monarquías que nos siguen aquejando hoy en día. Bueno, Carlos III no se parece nada a nuestro Carlos III, ni Carlos II de Inglaterra a nuestro Carlos II ni a nuestro Felipe VI. Pero a veces Carlos II se parece más de lo debido a Juan Carlos I, ese rey campechano, o, como lo llamaba Rochester en otra sátira,

The easiest King and best bred man alive.

Los dos tuvieron su restauración tras un intervalo republicano, una guerra civil, y una larga interrupción de la monarquía—aunque Franco fuese un Cromwell bastante más monárquico que su original británico, y nuestra República durase aún menos que la inglesa. 

En todo caso, tras la Restauración, o incluso antes, el rey se sometió pronto a intereses extranjeros, en secreto o en discreto, poniendo el interés del propio pecunio y estabilidad dinástica—y sus intereses sexuales—antes que la dignidad del país o el buen gobierno.

Him no Ambition moves, to get Renown,

Like the french Fool, hazarding his Crown.

Peace is his Aim, his Gentleness is such

And Love, he loves, for he loves fucking much.

 

Haz el amor y no la guerra, así empezó el reinado y así siguió mientras duró:

Restless he rolls about from Whore to Whore

A merry Monarch, scandalous and poor.

Bueno, pobre... originariamente. Pronto ex-pobre, gracias a jugosos negocios de corrupción con los Amigos de la Corona, a mordidas abusivas, y a pagos secretos e inconfesables de intereses extranjeros; en suma, gracias a la venta por partes del país. 

Y así sigue la sátira de Rochester contra aquel Carlos y su corte de bufones, parásitos y putas:

Poor Prince thy Prick like thy Buffoons at Court

Will govern thee because it makes thee sport.

’Tis sure the sauciest that e’er did swive

The proudest, peremptoriest Prick alive.

Though Safety, Law, Religion, Life lay on ’t

’Twould break through all to make its way to Cunt.

Es lo que hubo. Pero me voy del tema, que ésa es otra sátira, y ya no sabemos ni de quién estamos hablando. Mi intención era transcribir la Historia de los Insípidos, publicada anónimamente en 1676 y atribuida a Rochester en ediciones posteriores.

Y, como digo, propongo leer esta sátira con un ojo en su contexto histórico de la Restauración británica, y con el otro como un poème à clef sobre asuntos actuales, o intemporales, o repetitivos, que para eso los clásicos trascienden a su tiempo. Como decía el dicho, la historia nunca se repite, pero con frecuencia rima. Las rimas de Rochester, por cierto, son con frecuencia muy divertidas.

Aquí un facsímil del manuscrito, procedente de la biografía de Rochester escrita por Graham Greene, Lord Rochester's Monkey (Nueva York: Viking Press – Studio Books, 1974). Para el texto transcrito a continuación, sigo mayormente la edición de V. de Sola Pinto, Poems by John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester (Routledge, 1953), pero agilizo y abrevio las notaciones de crítica textual, y modernizo o corrijo la puntuación o gramática cuando procede o me parece bien.

 

 

 

 

The History of the Insipids

 

       

    1

Chast, pious, prudent Charles the Second,

The Miracle of thy Restauration

May like to that of Quails be reckon'd

Rain'd on the Israelitick Nation;

The wisht-for Blessing from Heav'n sent,

Became their Curse and Punishment.

 

            2

The Vertues in thee, Charles, inherent,

Although thy countenance be an odd piece,

Proves thee as true a Gods Vicegerent

As e're was Harry with the Codpiece:

For Chastity and pious Deeds,

His Grandsire Harry, Charles exceeds.

 

            3

Our Romish Bondage breaker Harry,

Espoused half a dozen Wives,

Charls only one resolv'd to marry,

And other Mens he never swives,

Yet hath he Sons and Daughters more,

Than e're had Harry by threescore.

 

            4

Never was such a Faiths Defender,

He like a politick Prince, and pious,

Gives liberty to Conscience tender,

And doth to no Religion tye us.

Jews, Christians, Turks, Papists, he'll please us,

With Moses, Mahomet, or Jesus.

 

            5

In all Affairs of Church or State,

He very zealous is, and able,

Devout at Prayers, and sits up late

At the Cabal and Council table.

His very Dog at Council Board

Sits grave and wise, as any Lord.

 

            6

Let Charles his Policy no Man flout,

The wisest Kings have all some Folly,

Nor let his Piety any doubt;

Charles like a Sovereign wise and holy,

Makes young Men Judges of the Bench,

And Bishops some that love a Wench.

 

            7

His Fathers Foes he doth reward,

Preserving those that cut off's Head:

Old Cavaliers, the Crown's best Guard,

He lets them starve for want of Bread.

Never was any King endow'd

With so much Grace and Gratitude.

 

            8

Blood, that wears Treason in his Face,

Villain compleat, in Parson's Gown,

How much is he at Court in Grace

For stealing Ormond, and the Crown?

Since Loyalty do's no Man good.

Let's steal the King and out-do Blood.

 

            9

A Parliament of Knaves and Sots,

Members by name, you must not mention,

He keeps in Pay, and buys their Votes,

Here with a Place, there with a Pension.

When to give Mony he can't collogue 'um

He doth with Scorn prorogue, prorogue 'um.

 

            10

But they long since by too much giving,

Undid, betray'd, and sold the Nation;

Making their Memberships a Living,

Better than e're was Sequestration.

God give thee Charles a Resolution

To damn the Knaves by a Dissolution.

 

            11

Fame is not grounded on Success,

Though Victories were Caesar's Glory;

Lost Battels make not Pompey less,

But left them stiled great in Story.

Malitious Fate doth oft devise

To heat the Brave and fool the Wise.

 

            12

Charles in the first Dutch War stood fair,

To have been Sovereign of the Deep;

When Opdam blew up in the Air,

Had not his Highness gone to sleep.

Our Fleet slack'd Sails, fearing his waking,

The Dutch else had been in sad taking.

 

            13

The Bergen Business was well laid,

Though we paid dear for that Design:

Had we not three days parling staid,

The Dutch Fleet there, Charles, had been thine.

Though the false Dane agree'd to sell 'um,

He cheated us, and saved Skellum.

 

            14

Had not Charles sweetly choos'd the States,

By Bergen Baffle grown more wise,

And made them Shit as small as Ratts,

By their rich Smyrna Fleets Surprise?

Had haughty Holms but call'd in Spragg,

Hands had been put into a Bag.

 

            15

Mists, Storms, short Victuals, adverse Winds,

And once the Navies wise Division,

Defeated Charles his best Designs,

Till he became his Foes Derision,

But he had swing'd the Dutch at Chattam,

Had he had Ships but to come at 'um.

 

            16

Our Blackheath Host without dispute,

Rais'd (put on Board, why, no Man knows)

Must Charles have rendred absolute,

Over his Subjects and his Foes.

Has not the French King made us Fools,

By taking Maestricht with our Tools?

 

            17

But Charles what could thy Polley be,

To run so many sad Disasters;

To join they Fleet with false D'Etrees,

To make the French of Holland Masters?

Was't Carewell, brother James, or Teague,

That made thee break the Triple League?

 

            18

Could Robin Vyner have foreseen

The glorious Triumphs of his Master

The Wool-Church Statue Gold had been,

Which now is made of Alabaster:

But Wise Men think had it been Wood,

T'were for a Bankrupt King too good.

 

            19

Those that the Fabrick well consider,

Do of it diversely discourse;

Some pass their Censure of the Rider,

Others their Judgment of the Horse:

Must say the Steed's a goodly thing

But all agree 'tis a Lewd King.

 

            20

By the Lord Mayor and his grave Coxcombs,

Free-man of London Charles is made;

Then to Whitehall a Rich Gold Box comes,

Which is bestow'd on the French Jade.

But wonder not it should be so, Sirs,

When Monarchs rank themselves with Grocers.

 

            21

Cringe, scrape, no more ye City Fopps,

Leave off your Feasting and fine speeches,

Beat up your Drums, shut up your Shops,

The Courtiers then will kiss your Breeches.

Arm'd, tell the Popish Duke that Rules,

You'r Free-born Subjects, not French Mules.

 

            22

Now upstarts, Pimps, Bastards, Whores,

That Locust-like devour the Land,

By shutting up the Exchequer Doors,

When thither our Mony was trapan'd

Have rend'red Charles his Restauration

But a small Blessing to the Nation.

 

            23

Then Charles beware of thy Brother York

Who to thy Government gives Law;

If once we fall to the old Sport,

You must again both go to Breda:

Where Spight of all that would restore you,

Grown wise by wrongs, we shall abhor you.

 

            24

If of all Christian Blood the Guilt

Cry loud for Vengeance unto Heaven;

That Sea by Treacherous Lewis spilt,

Can never be by God forgiven.

Worse Scourge unto his Subjects, Lord,

Than Pestilence, Famine, Fire or Sword.

 

            25

That false rapacious Wolf of France,

The Scourge of Europe, and Its Curse,

Who at his Subject's cry, does Dance

And study how to make them worse;

To say such kings, Lord, rule by thee,

Were most prodigious Blasphemy.

 

            26

Such know no Law but their own Lust,

Their Subjects' Substance, and their Blood

They count it Tribute, due and just,

Still spent, and spilt, for Subjects good.

If such Kings are by God appointed

The Devil may then be the Lord's Anointed.

 

            27

Such Kings, curst be the Power and Name,

Let all the World henceforth abhor'um;

Monsters which Knaves Sacred proclaim,

And then like Slaves fall down before 'um.

What can there be in Kings Divine?

The most are Wolves, Goats, Sheep, or Swine.

 

            28

Then Farewel Sacred Majesty,

Let's pull all Brutish Tyrants down;

When Men are born, and still live free,

Here ev'ry Head doth wear a Crown.

Mankind, like miserable Froggs,

Prove wretched, king'd by Storks and Loggs.

 

 

 

—oOo—

Notas (de la edición de V. de Sola Pinto, pp. 161-3; 205-11)

SCNIP—A Second Collection of the Newest and Most Ingenious Poems, Satyrs, Songs &c Against Popery and Tyranny, Relating to the Times. Most of which never before Printed. London, MDCLXXXIX. 4to. (Brit. Mus. 1077, h. 32.) 

POAS—Poems on Affairs of State: From the Time of Oliver Cromwell, to the Abdication of K. James the Second. Written by the greatest Wits of the Age. Printed in the Year 1697. 8vo. (Collection of the Editor.)

Portland Miscellany—Folio volume in old leather binding with bookplate of the Sixth Duke of Portland. There are two seals on binding with arms of the First Earl of Pomfret and his wife. The volume contains a miscellany of poems mostly written in a neat scribal hand. These include the obscene play called 'The Destruction of Sodom' and poems by Rochester, Dryden, Marvell, Oldham and others. This volume is part of the Duke of Portland's collection at Welbeck Abbey.

LVIII. The History of Insipids: SCNIP, pp. 9-10; POAS; 1707; 1709, etc.; Portland Miscellany. In 1707, p. 86, the title is 'The Restauration Or the History of Insipids; A. Lampoon'. The title in the Portland Miscellany is 'The Chronicle'. An edition of the poem was published by H. Hills in 1709 under the title The History of Insipids, a Lampoon,  together with Rochester's Farewell and Marvil's Ghost by Mr. Ayloff. In the British Museum copy of SCNIP the words 'By John Earl of Rochester' are written in a neat late seventeenth-century hand below the title. The proper name and other words represented only by initial letters in the printed text are completed in the same hand and these Ms. completions have been adopted in the text. 

12 Grandsire Harry] Henry IV of France, father of Henrietta Maria, Charles II's mother. 13 Romish Bondage breaker Harry] Henry VIII. 21 conscience tender] the Declaration of Breda issued by Charles II just before his restoration promises an 'Indulgence to tender consciences'. On 26th December 1662 he issued a 'Declaration of Liberty to tender Consciences' and on 15th March 1672 a 'Declaration of Indulgence for tender consciences'. 23, 24. These lines may possibly echo Charles's conversation. In December 1669 Sir Robert Moray in a letter to Lauderdale wrote of the King as follows: 'He is now beginning to declare himself more vigorously against persecution of people for their religion and says upon that subject things most pungent and unanswerable.'  (A. Bryant, King Charles II (1931), p. 209n). 43 Blood] Thomas Blood (? 1618-80), an Irish adventurer who tried to assassinate the Duke of Ormonde in 1670 and to steal the Crown Jewels on 9th May 1671. With an accomplice he actually made off with crown and globe before he was caught and arrested. He was interrogated by Charles II in person, who was so pleased with his replies that he pardoned him and have him back his Irish estates. The statement that Blood wore 'Treason in his Face' is borne out by the following passage in Evelyn's Diary (10th May 1671). 'The man had not only a daring but a villainous unmerciful looke, a false countenance, but very well spoken and dangerously insinuating' (Diary, ed. A. Dobson,  II, 322). 49-60. Cf. with these stanzas Trevelyan's description of the same Parliament (the 'Cavalier Long Parliament' of 1660-78): 'In the course of nineteen sessions, the members became habitual residents in London. Their persons and prices were well known at Whitehall. Neither George III nor Walpole, nor even Danby was the first to protect the position of ministers by the purchase of votes in the House. The system was introduced during the struggle over the accounts of the Dutch War of 1665-8 by statesmen of the new style. Clarendon indeed saw with anger and disdain the country members thronging Whitehall stairs, and going off with pensions and places to vote against their conscience' (G. M. Trevelyan, England under the Stewarts, p. 376). 67 the first Dutch War] i.e. the war of 1665-8; this was the first Dutch war after the Restoration. Actually, the first war between England and Holland was Cromwell's war of 1651-4. This poem must have been written after the 'second' (i.e. the third) Dutch war of 1672-4. 69 Opdam] Jacob Opdam or Obdam, Dutch admiral. He was defeated and killed in the naval action of 13th June 1665 when his ship blew up. 70 his Highness] James, Duke of York. 'The duke, who had borne himself bravely in the fight, had gone to bed, leaving order that the fleet should keep its course. Henry Brouncker, a groom of his bedchamber afterwards delivered an order purporting to come from James, to slacken sail and thus allow the Dutch to escape' (D.N.B., s.a. James II of England). 73 The Bergen Business] the naval action off Bergen on 1st August 1665, in which Rochester took part. See Introduction, pp. xix, xx. 78 Skellum] 'a rascal, scamp, scoundrel, villain' (O.E.D.).  Applied here to the Dutch treasure fleet which escaped at Bergen. 79 choos'd] probably for 'choused' from choase—to dupe, cheat, trick (O.E.D.), a fairly common word in seventeenth-century English, apparently derived from a Turkish word. See note under 'chouse' in O.E.D. 83 Holms] Sir Robert Holmes (1622-92), one of the chief English admirals of the period. In March 172 he attacked the Dutch Smyrna Fleet off the Isle of Wight before war had been declared. This fleet was said to contain treasure worth a million and a half, and Holmes's attack was mere piracy. It was a failure, and, according to Andrew Marvell, 'all the Prize that was gotten sufficed not to pay the Chirurgeons and Carpenters' (An Account of the Growth of Popery, 1678). Marvell refers to the affair in The Statue in the Stocks Market, ll. 51, 52 (if that poem be his: See The Poems and Letters of Andrew Marvell, ed. H. M. Margoliouth, I, 180, 303). 80, 82. All the printed editions read full stops after 'wise' and 'surprise'. To make sense of the passage it is obviously necessary to read a comma after 'wise' and a question mark after 'surprise'. The grammar is rather clumsy, but the meaning is clearly 'Would not Charles have scored off the States (i.e. the Dutch Republic) nicely (having learnt a lesson from the disaster at Bergen) and completely humiliated them by the surprise of their rich Smyrna Fleet? If only haughty Holms had called in Spragg, then indeed there would have been rich pickings.' 83 Spragg] sir Edward Spragg (killed in action 1673), one of the most brilliant English naval commanders of the period. Rochester served under him in the summer of 1666. Marvell in An Account of the Growth of Popery (1677) suggests that the failure of Spragg's squadron to support Holmes in the action against the Smyrna fleet 'proceeded partly from that jealousy (which is usuall to martiall spirits like Sr. Roberts) of admitting a Companion to share with him in the Spoile of Honour or Profit'. 89 Chattam] An ironic allusion to De Ruyter's success of June 1667, when he sailed up the Medway and burnt part of an English fleet off Chatham. 91 Blackheath Host] Cf. note to no. XX, l. 13. The reference is probably to the army which was raised for a landing in Holland in June 1673 when Charles II was allied with Louis XIV. 96 Maestricht] Cf. note to no. XX, l. 12. 99 D'Etrees] Jean d'Estrees, commander of the French squadron which was sent to co-operate with the English fleet, against the Dutch in the summer of 1672. He was accused by the English of holding aloof from the battle of Southwold Bay. 100 To make the French or Holland Masters] the following Latin couplet with a burlesque translation ascribed to Rochester occurs in Tanner 89, f. 261:

Una dies Lotheros, Burgundos hebdomas una

   Una domat Batavos Luna: quid annus aget?

On Louis XIV burlesqued by the late E. of Rochester:

Lorrain he stole, by fraud he got Burgundy,

Holland he bought and I God He shall pay fort one day.

A slightly different version of the English couplet appears in Sandcroft 53, p. 39, as Rochester's headed 'On ye French Ks Conquests ...' I owe this information to Dr. Percy Simpson. 101 Carewell] A common English form of the name of Louise Rénée de Keroualle, Duchess of Portsmouth, the French mistress of Charles II and agent of Louis XIV. Brother James] James, Duke of York, who probably became a Catholic about 1670. Teague] A contemptuous name for an Irish Roman Catholic. 103-8 Robin Vyner] Sir Robert Viner (1631-88), a goldsmith and Lord Mayor of London; he was an ardent royalist and erected a statue of Charles II in the Stocks Market or Woolchurch Market on the site of the present Mansion House. A report of the unveiling of this statue appeared in the London Gazette for 29th May 1672. It had originally been a statue for John Sobieski, King of Poland, which Viner bought and had altered to represent the English king. It was removed in 1736 and is now said to be at Newby Hall, Ripon. See the poem called The Statue in the Stocks Market attributed to Andrew Marvell and H. M. Margoliouth's note on it in his edition of Marvell's Poems and Letters, i, 300-3. 108 Bankrupt K[ing]] Viner was actually ruined by the closing of the Exchequer in January 1672, when the King is said to have owed him £415,724. 116 Freeman of London] The London Gazette of 17th-21st December 1674 gives an account of the presentation of the Freedom of the City of London to Charles II, when the Lord Mayor and Chamberlain were deputed to bring to the King 'the Copy of the Freedom of the City curiously written on Vellom, and adorned with Gilding after the best manner, in a large square Box of massy Gold'. See the satiric ballad Upon his Majesties being made free of the Citty attributed to Andrew Marvell and H. M. Margoliouth's notes on it in his edition of The Poems and Letters of Andrew Marvell, I, 303, 304. 118 French Jade] The Duchess of Portsmouth. See above l. 101n. 120 Grocers] Cf. Upon his Majesties being made free of the City, ll. 79-81 (The Poems and Letters of Andrew Marvell, ed. H. M. Margoliouth, I., p. 183):

Then o London rejoice!

In thy fortunate choyce

To have made this Freeman of Spices;

Apparently Charles was made an honorary member of the Grocers' Company. 164 all Brutish] Portland Miscellany 'a British'.

—oOo—