Retropost #644 (6 de diciembre de 2005): El drill del cíborg

Mi correo basura a veces se supera a sí mismo. Aquí hay una parodia buenísima de esos libros de inglés hechos a base de prácticas machaconas de frases absurdas. Yo tengo alguno muy bueno, que asegura, cito, que "si un alumno termina el estudio de este manual sin aprender inglés, garantizo que es imbécil o idiota". Bueno, pues esto nos cuenta el correo basura de hoy, escrito por algún cíborg nostálgico del Assimil Inglés o de English Made Easy. Hace unos años hubiera sido una pequeña joya de la literatura surrealista; hoy nada vale nada...

Does Joe hate laughing over there?
today i need to goto the store.
I could go on and on, but I won’t. We have many programs the children love. But I would give them ALL up to keep my BORING noun program. I thank THE PARENT daily for her insight.
Doesn’t Kate’s granddaughter miss shaving for a few months?
Is the manager missing walking?.
Haven’t the photographers already disliked praying?
They have loved dancing.
Jack is not missing singing near the station..
I am enjoying eating in the river.
Joe’s girlfriend generally misses laughing.
Were those farmers practicing shouting next to the police station?
Every child communicates in some form whether it be by crying, body language, facial expressions or verbalization. Some children talk early, some late, some with augmentative communication devices, some not at all. As a teacher I wanted to facilitate the child learning language.
I don’t hate studying in London.
That carpenter is practicing running at this time.
But this is where you come in: Between now and November, you, the American people, you can reject the tired, old, hateful, negative politics of the past. And instead you can embrace the politics of hope, the politics of what’s possible because this is America, where everything is possible.
tomorrow i will wash my hair and go to the salon.
I am not missing surfing.
AUDIENCE: Yes.
I am not enjoying skiing among the trees at the moment.
The janitor doesn’t generally like praying.
I am missing working right now.
Did those bus drivers regret singing?
Paul’s grandson disliked studying for six weeks.
EDWARDS: They are doing all they can to take the campaign for the highest office in the land down the lowest possible road.
I don’t miss jumping for three or four weeks.
Toren came to me at age 32 months. He had 2 words: Ma Ma and Bye Bye. He could not focus, but ran around the room. His mother was convinced I was going to have him cured by his third birthday. I told her I was no miracle worker, but we’d do what we could during the next 4 months. Immediately we started structuring Toren’s day. I went home and worked up a program called ’Toren’s Nouns’. The first day I showed Toren the program, he looked at it for 10-15 seconds and then left the computer. The next day he stayed about 30 seconds. Each day he built up more time at the computer. By the second week, he would sit on my lap for 10 minutes pressing whichever word he wanted to hear. But he spoke no sounds, no words. Three weeks passed. I began berating myself. ’See, Jo, you thought this noun program was so great. Look at Toren, he’s not learning anything.’ The fourth week Toren walked over to the computer, picked up the overlay from the IntelliKeys keyboard, pointed to 10 different words and approximated each word. That day, I cried.
Doesn’t Ms. Brown hate playing at the company?
5. I was missing jumping.
EDWARDS: ... more negative attacks -- aren’t you sick of it?
The guards don’t often love reading.

Retroposts

—oOo—